do you like Bush??

[revjoybunny]

Donald Rumsfeld died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said Rumsfeld, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible," said Rumsfeld. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked Rumsfeld.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Im not getting at mr bush I just thought this was so very funny

And who is Donald Rumsfield?

[inge]

And who is Donald Rumsfield?


the 21st Secretary of Defense (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Secretary_of_Defence) under President George W. Bush (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_W._Bush) from 2001 to 2006.

(Wikipedia).

[revjoybunny]

ahhh thanx Inge

just shows how much I know about american politics

[salty1]

:D:D

Cute one Rev Joy.

[abrockie]

Good one Ewv. Joy

Unfortunately, Donald Rumsfeld is considered one of the butchers of Vietnam :(

God Bless

Adam

[pericles]

What about Tricky Dic.... I mean, Nixon's clock?

[revjoybunny]

oh I have no idea perhaps its used to cool a pc or something lol

[pericles]

Yup! Or maybe run the air-conditioner when Jesus has a conference in His office...

[profitflowteam]

I heard this joke about 10 years ago, only at that time it was Clinton's clock that was being used as a fan...

[profitflowteam]

Anyway, here's another one for ya:

George Bush died, and as he was walking around heaven, he started meeting all of the people he had read about in the Bible. He met King David, and Adam and Noah, and they were all very friendly.

There was one old man, however who pointedly ignored George, and refused to even look at him. So George asked one of his new friends about why this old man was being so rude. "Don't take it personally," he was told. "That's Moses, and the last time he talked to a Bush he ended up wandering in the desert for 40 years."

[pericles]

Nice one! Hahaha!

[pericles]

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place."

Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

[msbeejay]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side d uring the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first l ist. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mezamies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude ad justment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer!)

[msbeejay]

D I S C L A I M E R:
Is This Perfect Or What? was sent to me by my Ex and ‏although I do not totally agree with ALL opinions expressed in the message, there are some legitimate points made...Also, I hold absolutely NO animosity towards anybody from any country that is or isn't mentioned!


It is JUST another political joke to be taken with a grain of salt...And we all have our opinions about other people, however I wonder how you would like to walk a mile in their shoes?

[cloud9]

That's a good one.
If that joke was adapted to apply to our current PM Mr. G Brown, the fan would spin so fast and generate enough power that it could orbit the earth:D

[lisalisa1365]

Oh wow, that is so offensive!!:mad:
Im a CANADIAN who thinks George Bush is a war monger.
My father in law is an ARAB.
Need I say more?
Geez, I thought forums like this wouldn't allow stuff like that.

[surferdad]

So-o-o-o Funny Loved it

[pericles]

Oh wow, that is so offensive!!:mad:
Im a CANADIAN who thinks George Bush is a war monger.
My father in law is an ARAB.
Need I say more?
Geez, I thought forums like this wouldn't allow stuff like that.

Well, I think most of the world agrees with you but I don't think that it was msbeejay's intention to offend anyone. Oftentimes, humor (or satire) is pointedly close to the uncomfortable truth, yet we laugh (though with a bitter undertone) or we feel offended. Yet, it is the comedian's method of placing the truth in our face.

Unfortunately, you have to admit that the US of A is pretty close to a fascist state (as is mine own - bitter laugh). If you need to look further, search for Aaron Russo's America: From Freedom to Fascism.

[msbeejay]

Thank you, pericles...I realize now that it should not have been posted here, but it did not occur to me the "joke" might be taken the wrong way...It is really too bad that we have to be so very careful about what we say or how we act because somebody will take offense...God Help Us, I want the "Good Old Days Back!"

Supposedly the United States of America is a Democracy or at least that is what our foundling fathers meant it to be...However, with "the grass is greener" syndrome, our country has become a melting pot for everybody and their brother which unfortunately has created a huge burden on our economy and resources...

Isn't it time to affect change if you are not happy with what is going on instead of trading one set of problems for another? People can make a difference when they stand together on their own two feet!

[hildar]

I agree with you Msbee, Some times the good old days would be much better then it is now. But as I so nicely put to a few friends at above top secret forum, we are the problem ourselves right here in the USA. In the old days most families had 4-10 kids, they had farms, and raised there own food they even made there own clothes, and beds. Now a days a typical family has 1-2 children, 2 to 3 cars, a huge house, both parents working, and the kids dont even know where real butter comes from. Never the less how to take care of a farm. Its easier to go to Mc donalds. Yet, alot of the folks coming over here from other countries, still believe in huge families. Including Mexicans. Most Mexican american families still have 4- 10 children. No wonder the whites, and Blacks are so scared of Mexicans in 20 years there will be more Mexicans in the USA then there are true white, or black Americans. But it is because we crave money. The less kids we have the better our lives are, We get fancy cars, big expensive homes, private schools for the 1 or 2 kids that we have, Big screen TVs, Fancy restaurants every few nights. and we are happy. Yet we are killing out our own kind due to this lifestyle.

I actually find my self laughing some days when I see what I do, I took my Aunt one day to signup for food stamps, and out of all of the folks in that place for 4 hours, they were all black or white, not a single Hispanic person in there. Which told me one thing, we are lazy. I bet you 10 to 1 if you did the same thing you would not only see what I did but the fact that these folks, are all dressed in designer clothes, and driving 2 year old cars max. Yet the hispanics, are working there butts off in the fields to support there families for 5 cents a bucket for picking cucumbers.

To me we are the problem, not the folks coming in from other countries. When we can put money and homes before our families that makes us the problem.

Hilda

[msbeejay]

An Internet friend of mine sent this to me and I wanted to share it with the forum community...

In a message dated 6/3/2008 11:35:51 AM PDT, CLJ5775 writes:



Article by Thomas Sowell...A respected author and educator, Sowell is a magna cum laude graduate of Harvard with a Masters in Economics from Columbia and a Doctorate in Economics from the University of Chicago...here is his personal perspective...
Thomas Sowell is black and a highly regarded essayist.



An Old Newness
By Thomas Sowell
Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Many years ago, a great hitter named Paul Waner was nearing the end of his long career. He entered a ballgame with 2999 hits, one hit away from the landmark total of 3000, which so many hitters want to reach, but which relatively few actually do reach.

Waner hit a ball that the fielder did not handle cleanly but the official scorer called it a hit, making it Waner's 3000th. Paul Waner then sent word to the official scorer that he did not want that questionable hit to be the one that put him over the top. The official scorer reversed himself and called it an error. Later, Paul Waner goat a clean hit for number 3000.

What reminded me of this is the great fervor that many seem to feel over the prospect of the first black President of the United States. No doubt it is only a matter of time before there is a black president, just as it was only a matter of time before Paul Waner got his 3000th hit.

The issue is whether we want to reach that landmark so badly that we are willing to overlook how questionably that landmark is reached.

Paul Waner had too much pride to accept a scratch hit.

Choosing a President of the United States is a lot more momentous than a baseball record. We, the voters, need to have far more concern about who we put in that office that holds the destiny of a nation and of generations yet unborn.

There is no reason why someone as arrogant, foolishly clever and ultimately dangerous as Barack Obama should become president -- especially not at a time when the threat of international terrorists with nuclear weapons looms over 300 million Americans.

Many people seem to regard elections as occasions for venting emotions, like cheering for your favorite team or choosing a Homecoming Queen. The three leading candidates for their party's nomination are being discussed in terms of their demographics -- race, sex and age -- as if that is what the job is about.

One of the painful aspects of studying great catastrophes of the past is discovering how many times people were preoccupied with trivialities when they were teetering on the edge of doom. The demographics of the presidency are far less important than the momentous weight of responsibility that office carries.

Just the power to nominate federal judges to trial courts and appellate courts across the country, including the Supreme Court, can have an enormous impact for decades to come.

There is no point feeling outraged by things done by Federal Judges, if you vote on the basis of emotion for those who appoint them. Barack Obama has already indicated that he wants judges who make social policy instead of just applying the law. He has already tried to stop young violent criminals from being tried as adults.

Although Senator Obama has presented himself as the candidate of new things -- using the mantra of 'change' endlessly -- the cold fact is that virtually everything he says about domestic policy is straight out of the 1960s and virtually everything he says about foreign policy is straight out of the 1930s.

Protecting criminals, attacking business, increasing government spending, promoting a sense of envy and grievance, raising taxes on people who are productive and subsidizing those who are not -- all this is a re-run of the 1960s.

We paid a terrible price for such 1960s notions in the years that followed, in the form of soaring crime rates, double-digit inflation and double-digit unemployment. During the 1960s, ghettoes across the countries were ravaged by riots from which many have not fully recovered to this day.

The violence and destruction were concentrated not where there was the greatest poverty or injustice but where there were the most liberal politicians, promoting grievances and hamstringing the police.

Internationally, the approach that Senator Obama proposes--including the media magic of meetings between heads of state -- was tried during the 1930s. That approach, in the name of peace, is what led to the most catastrophic war in human history.

Everything seems new to those too young to remember the old and too ignorant of history to have heard about it.

Thomas Sowell is a senior fellow at the Hoover Institute and author of Basic Economics: A Citizen's Guide to the Economy.
__________________________________________________ ___________
__________________________________________________ ___________

[profitflowteam]

Personally, I think Alan Keyes would have been a great choice as the first black President. I don't care much for either of the candidates available this time around, so I guess it's just as well that I left the country when I did.

One thing I did find interesting about Australia, is the fact that voting is MANDATORY here. It's a $150 fine if you don't do it. I think America would do well to adopt that policy; decisions are being made by too small a percentage of the population. Just my opinion...

[bradkaren]

Im so glad to see there are some areas that we can let our hair down(if you havent pulled it out already).
I servered as a Marine Under Bush senior and even though I dont truly enjoy politics, I love my country! I enjoy seeing people make funny stories about our leaders, its a safe way to 1) show your feelings about the topic
2) doesnt always have to be in your face this is my opion idea.
Anyway, Im new here and look forward to exchanging many thoughts and ideas along the way

Brad

[smiley]

In ALL Honesty, the whole Presidential thingy is a Joke!

A President, I would Vote for would be a callased hand Grandpa in overalls that cared about people.

Not one that got a callase on finger from writing with a pen!

Money and Pockets RULE our government, that is why
nothing gets done and we are 9+ trillion in debt!

We have to be debt free to be a LEADER....

A GrandPa would tell these leaching people where to go
and not care of the consequences....

We need the WISDOM, back into running United States,
Not Money!

Whomever we vote for, we are SCREWED!
Which do we feel is the GREATER non-evil one.

That is where the Joke is at, and it's sad we cannot do
one thing about it.

[profitflowteam]

Hi Brad,

Glad to see you here. I was in the Air Force under both Reagan and Bush Sr.

A friend of mine showed me a video I though was pretty interesting and informative. Anyone planning to vote in November might be interested in taking a look at it.

http://www.eyeblast.tv/public/video.aspx?RsrcID=2036

[cashmony]

I can see there's a lot of love for President Bush. He's a comedians dream. They seem to have let up on him now that he's on his way out.

[topflight]

...God Help Us, I want the "Good Old Days Back!"


The good old days were not good for some of us who are born in America but not even considered a man let alone a citizen. It is still on the "blue books" that we are not altogether human nor citizens and the "Law" treat us as such.

There is a lot more to politics than meets the eye. Many people do not realize that America (and it's president) is subject to the Queen of England, the Federal Reserve Bank is not part of the Government (America borrows money from the FRB to opperate) and the spiritual values of the country is controled by the "Catholic Church" regardless of what religion people claim to be.

It does not matter, as far as politics goes, who is president of America, it only matters to the emotions of the people who is president. Who ever is president has to follow a predetermined script, his or her race or religion will not matter. The people that paid out money to get the president elected do not matter nor do the people who voted, only the script.

All people, people from every country and nation have to become aware of the past and the truth behind the events without the deceptions and missconceptions that rule most of societies today. We cannot go back to the "Good old Days", but have to go forward and make the world a place for "Better Days" for all people with Truth and Understanding of what is happing in the world around us with real Love and Concern for other people's wellfare.